Monday, December 17, 2007

It's Better Than Any Alcohol or Afrodesiac

It's apparently clear: I'm Scrooge-ish.

Well, the female version, of course. Who gets laid and still acts like that. I'm all pissy and mean and frankly? I just want the holidays to go the fuck away already. Because I'm a Scrooge.

These didn't even help.


Oh no. Nuh-huh. Couldn't have those gluten-free sugar cookies lifting my spirits. Hellz no, I bitched about all the effort they required.

(Recipe soon!)

These aren't helping either...


Instead I'm bitching about the glitter all over my counters. Oh, and I have nine sets to glitter and I've only done two. AND the glitter glue was too fucking thick.

And the Legos? Oh my hell, the Legos. Seriously, they must be having some serious bong hittin' over there to come up with these fucked up ideas. I can't even figure out a story line anymore.



A suitcase and flag (Saturday's), a fireplace (A FIREPLACE) (Sunday's) and a book, jewel in a fish tank and a frog (today's).

Holy fuck.


A self-scanner/register (hello, this has been brought to you by the Home Depot, where we don't have fucking employees, just shitty-ass machines) (Saturday's), an airline pilot (because, you know, getting stuck at the airport is FESTIVE) (Sunday's) and some sort of clock tower (today's).

Oh, and did you know? Ali tagged me as being nutty.


Really, I haven't a clue (haven't a clue at all) why she'd do such a thing (no idea, really) but I shall tag Estea.

10 comments:

kristi said...

Oh, I'm bitchy too, you can count on it. Been home with a sad feverish little boy all day, may be moving, and got test results that just pissed me off.

Alcohol sounds good.

Chickenbells said...

Yeah...my Christmas spirit is MIA...and? I fell down today. Yup. On a perfectly dry sidewalk...just not paying attention...luckily the Mac broke my fall. Yay. Perhaps the clocktower is for those of us who have lost our holiday spirit...and who need to throw frogs and jewels at people...or pack a suitcase and go on vacation?

Anonymous said...

The pine cones are lovely! I can't wait for the cookie recipe! They look good!

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

as I am completing my 7th batch of dipped pretzels, I am with you. But I AM excited to have my son home and not in school. I know, I'm backwards. So, just think Griffen won't have to be around that teacher for a couple of weeks!

Mizfixit said...

I can so relate to the Christmas spirit gone AWOL. I work in a bank...(the third worst place to be this week...only trailing in the rankings behind any retail big-box store and the post office)... and I SWEAR that if one more person asks me pick through my cash drawer for some "pretty money", I will stab them in the eye with my pen!!!

[Folks, it's all crappy looking now and picked over. Go home. Break out the steam iron and spray starch. Get a grip. It's green and it spends. What else do you need???? What's that? Oh? You'd like 25 gift envelopes for your 25 quasi-new Two Dollar bills?]

I could go on and on.....
Sorry, didn't intend to vent in your comments section.....hang in there! It'll be over soon!

I agree with Kristi. Alcohol sounds good.

Mia said...

but i don't think you can be considered a TRUE nut till you've bought yourself a Trikke in the middle of the worst snowstorm all year... Just sayin. But it's close with the legos! hahahahahahahhaha Hmmm... maybe I should apply for a job over there *grin*

I need alcohol. NOW!

sltbee69 said...

I'm having a hard time holding on to the spirit too. Only reason I have is for my 10-yr old who found out earlier this year that there is no "Santa" and if it was left up to her dad, there would be no Christmas. So that's why I make the cookies, play the music, etc. Oh - I can't wait to read your recipe too.

Lala said...

Hi Capello!!! I have been saying "is it Jan 3rd yet" REPEATEDLY in my mind since the day AFTER Thanksgiving... UGH... it'll all be over soon!!!

Just a tidbit... I noticed in our "higher end" grocery store they have a "gluten Free" section... thought of you immediately... some interesting items too!!!

Lala :o)

LLA said...

fwiw: tho' they may have both been pitas, the cookies and the pine cones are both super fabulous.

Heather said...

Well, I was gonna wish you and your family a Merry Christmas, but after reading that blog, I´m not sure it would be appreciated or help at all. Hope that your holidays get better!! Love yas!